How Chloe's First Grade Teacher Took the Fun Out of School Supplies

Chloe has one more month until school begins and it may take that long to gather all her school supplies. When you have your first child in school, its a learning process. Other parents with their second and third kids in school know the drill. They know how it is done. Me? Well, I've kind of lost my mind parenting two kids. My mind is busy keeping up with snack times, nap times, swim times, volunteer times, etc. The other day I drove away with the back gate still up on my SUV. I wondered why everyone was honking---until I realized that I had a really clear view out the back window.

So, it comes as no surprise that I somehow missed the sheet of paper that supposedly came home in Chloe's backpack the last month of school where you can easily and conveniently buy all your child's school supplies and have them ready and waiting on the first day of school. Because of my apparent lack of brain power lately, I'm not going to claim it never made it in Chloe's backpack and thus never made it home, though that's what I suspect. I'm pretty certain if I saw it, I would have jumped on the opportunity.

Now, I do enjoy school supply shopping. Ever since I was a school-aged child, there was nothing more exciting than school supply shopping. I enjoyed it more than back to school clothes shopping. I can remember in high school searching for a notebook binder just like the one Molly Ring*wald had in the movie *Sixteen *Candles*. Seriously. Why would I even kid about that?

So, perhaps I did get the sheet from Chloe's school and opted not to buy the pre-packed school supplies harkening back to the good old days and excitement of shopping for new school supplies. Chloe seemed to share the excitement, asking daily when we would get her supplies (see kindergarten didn't need school supplies--we were robbed from that experience). What fun Chloe and I would have!

NOT SO. With one month to go, Chloe and I set out to buy school supplies. List in hand. We arrived at the big box store and I opened the school supply list to find a precise, specific, do not differ from this list, school supply list. It was the most specific, killjoy school supply list I had ever seen! Notebook--must be one inch and black! Folders---must be plastic, two-pocket in blue (not light blue but dark blue), orange, red and green (spring green to be exact). Its best if you buy these folders at XYZ store.

I stood in disbelief! Chloe whined she didn't like black and wanted a different color notebook! The wind was taken right out of our sails. School supply shopping was nothing to get excited about--it was tedious and boring work. We searched high and low in the big box store for the specific, name-brand supplies the teacher wanted. We had been clearly warned in the letter not to deviate---we don't want some children to have the glue sticks that go on blue and dry clear, we want them to have the .77 oz. glue sticks that go on purple and dry clear and are washable. If you deviate from these instructions you will be given the worst possible position on the PTA, cause complete chaos in the the classroom and the teacher will wish a plague upon your household.

Three stores later and the school supply shopping is not complete. Its become a chore. A chore I am bitter about completing. I had to get on the computer this morning to Goo*gle what a large Magic* R*ub eraser  looked like. Apparently the pink ones won't do, it must be a special art eraser of high quality that is nearly impossible to find in any common retailer. Oh, and you have to buy a package of three!

I took the kids to the park the other day and ran into a friend, who also has a daughter the same age at Chloe's school. She's in the know--this isn't her first child in school. I lamented on the school-supply list and its specificity. "Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed. "You're not trying to go it alone are you?" she shrieked, grabbing another friend nearby to share the shocking news. "Shannon, didn't buy the pre-packed school supplies for Chloe and is having to search for the supplies on her own"! The park fell into a hushed silence and everyone stared at me. "That was a mistake!" the other mom responded.

So, I've caved. I'm ordering on-line and in bulk quantities because Expo*2 low-odor markers ONLY come in assorted color packages in the stores. You can't find only blue  markers in quantities of 5 in a store. NO, that would be too easy. So, I just ordered a box online. Chloe has 12 low-odor blue dry erase markers. I hope it doesn't send her teacher into a tizzy that she has 7 more markers than the other kids in class. It could lead to the breakdown of society. Guess I should keep the extra 7 at home.

I also just wrote in my 2011 calendar all across the month of May in yellow highlighter---"KEEP EYE OUT FOR PRE-PACKAGED SCHOOL SUPPLY ORDER FORM!!!!!!!!".