My husband is correct when he says that we were better parents BEFORE we had children. It was much easier as an "arm-chair parent" before we had children. "Our child will NEVER do that!": Yea right!!! Now that we are parents, we've gained a much greater understanding.
Chloe has hit the "terrible twos" and I have had to take a few moments to count to 10 to myself. I have read that there is no such thing as the "terrible twos" in several parenting books. What then has possessed my otherwise delightful, laid back child?
Life was good one month ago. At 27 months, Chloe was a happy, go-lucky little girl. Now, she's more likely to burst into a tantrum than smile at you. My parents don't believe it. Of course, they are grandparents, they aren't supposed to. The diners of two local restaurants can attest to it. Chloe kicked up quite a doozy on Saturday night. So much so that Mommy & Chloe has to leave the restaurant and sit in the car while Daddy & Bryan finished up and paid the check. Then, on Sunday morning at breakfast, she had a timeout moment in the ladies restroom when she screamed non-stop at the top of her lungs because she wanted ALL of Daddy's milkshake (she didn't want to share).
My favorite tantrum thus far was today. I had given Chloe a cup of milk and she was drinking it while I made dinner. I needed more milk for the recipe I was making and reached into the refrigerator for the gallon of milk. As soon as Chloe saw the milk she began to yell, "I want milk!!!". "You have milk," I said. "WAHHHHHH!! MILK!!!" (fall on floor screaming,fake crying and flailing). Did I miss something? Not more than 5 minutes before I had given her a glass of milk. And, yes, I checked, it was still full of milk. Count to 10 Shannon & ignore. You pointed out the glass of milk in her hand. That's all you can do.
In this new phase of parenthood, I turned to the experts to help me interpret. All it did was confuse. When it comes to toddlers, the experts don't even agree. Yes, they all say that this stage of development is all about independence, but that's where the agreement ends. Great, yes, I am aware that Chloe keeps running from me because a) she thinks it's funny to see Mommy chase her and b) she wants her independence and doesn't want to have to be held or hold hands. Now, what do you do about it so that she doesn't run into the road or in front of a car and get hurt? One expert said time out for two minutes (1 minute for each year of age), a local doctor said the 1-2-3 Magic approach and one expert said to tell them "No running from Mommy!" in a stern but not too loud voice because time out and 1-2-3 Magic are still beyond a 2 year old and you don't want to crush their self-esteem (this is also the same expert who says toddlers are identical to teenagers). Great, thanks for your advice.
So, as I was pondering my discipline approach, here's what I discovered....I am going to write a book about toddlers entitled, "Toddlers are Divas". I once bought a shirt for Chloe that had the word "DIVA" on the front in rhinestones. I thought it was cute and I thought at the time it was funny. I didn't know it was true. Maybe I came to this realization because I talk to a 2 year old all day. It's like talking to a diva. They talk in 3rd person--"Chloe don't like it!"; "Chloe all done!"; "Chloe loves you!"; "Chloe do it!". There's never or rarely an "I" in any sentence. Then, there's the bossiness--"OPEN THIS!"; "Chloe want milk!!". There's the tantrums and fake cries. There's the moodiness. It's an egocentric world a toddler lives in. It's all about them. Does a diva know that running into the road could cause you to get hit by a car? NO! A diva (and a toddler) believe if there is a car, it will stop for them. Everyone is supposed to be taking care of their needs.
So, I think I am going to search out for that DIVA shirt again and get one in Chloe's size. It was cute, now it's true.
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